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Where are We?
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, "Bu-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rge-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r- K i-i-i-i-n-g"
The Blonde and the Doctor
A blonde walked into a doctor's office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened?
The blonde said, "Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, so first I stuck the gun in my mouth, but thought, wait a minute, I just had all that bridge work done, and I don't want to ruin it. So, I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then thought, wait a minute, I just got a nose job not too long ago, and I don't want to ruin it! Then I pointed the gun at my heart, and thought, wait a minute, I just had these boobs done, and I don't want to ruin them! So then I stuck the gun in my ear, and thought, wait a minute, this is going to be loud!"
Five Men & Five Blondes
A phone company puts an ad in the paper that they are recruiting workers. The next day, two groups of workers show up: a crew of five men, and a crew of five blonde women.
The company cannot decide who to give the job to without a test. The company boss says: "Each crew will receive a telephone pole that they must install into the ground. Whoever is able to hammer it in first, will get the job." Both groups agree that this is a fair test, so off they go in Company trucks with the long telephone poles sticking out the back.
A few hours pass, and finally, at 5:00, the men return. "Yeah!!" they shout, "we came back first, so we get the job!!"
"Good work, men," says the boss, "however, we must wait until the other crew comes back to make sure that the reason they're delayed is not because of traffic, or that the truck broke down." "Fine, no problem," say the men.
An hour passes, two hours pass, three hours. Finally, at 12:00, the Blonde crew arrive. All the group is flushed and breathing hard, as if they had just gone through harsh labor.
"What happened to you? What took so long?" asks the boss incredulously. "What do you mean, 'what took so long'?? Do we get the job?" "YOU get the job? No way! The men were back here HOURS ago!" "Well, of course they were," say the blondes. "They only put the pole in halfway!!"
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